People nowadays seem to think lived experience is more important than advanced academic training for a therapist or coach. But I have both, extensive lived experience and extensive academic and professional experience.
My lived experience has rarely been conventional. From overcoming severe childhood dyslexia and living in the shadow of a violent unsolved crime, I learned early that waiting for broken systems to save you is a trap.
Whether dropping out of college at age 20 for a gap year to experience complete independence, turning down an Ivy League school to pioneer a brand-new field of study, or stepping away from a prestige corporate role to evaluate complex cases in the prison system, my life has been defined by strategic rule-breaking.
Resilience isn’t about surviving bad situations; it is about cultivating the fierce internal capacity to walk away, step into the unknown, and build a life on your own terms, which I have done over and over again.
It is recognizing adversity as a powerful developmental tool. Acknowledging and grieving life’s deep injustices, then gradually transforming that pain into a catalyst for growth.
I always say, “We cannot change what happens to us, but we can redesign our lives.” I am a fierce advocate of post-traumatic growth, and I bring that mindset to every meeting with my clients.
Below you will find details about my lived experience.
1. Early Challenges with Dyslexia
At age five, I was identified with a severe learning disability, dyslexia, that put me in special education services throughout elementary school where I faced significant challenges and unhelpful teaching methods. I would have been held back in 3rd grade if my parents had not transferred me to a private school.
I was unable to read until the age of 10. My grandparents, who had only finished the eighth grade and lived next door to my parents, stepped in to remediate my education. From 3:00 PM to 5:00 PM, Monday through Friday, until I reached ninth grade, they worked with me on all my assignments and bribed me to participate in a summer reading program until I was 17.
While dyslexia is something you live with for life, it did not stop me. With the help of early technology and grammar checkers, I became an exceptional writer and was hired as a highly paid English literature tutor, helping others craft complex arguments and improve their expository writing. I spent 8 years working part-time as a writing tutor in both undergraduate and graduate school.
2. The Unsolved Murders at Age Nine
At the age of nine, my family experienced a profound trauma. Our close family friends and neighbors were violently murdered in a crime that remains unsolved to this day. Their three young children ages 9, 7 and 3 barely escaped with their lives.
My mother participated in a carpool with our friends. I was waiting for them to pick me up for school the day they were murdered. Because of this, my family was placed in FBI protection with our home phone wiretapped for years, and we lived in constant fear for our safety.
Growing up in an idyllic American town that had never experienced a murder before hardened me. Even though I could not have asked for better parents, grandparents, neighbors and teachers who endlessly supported me through this nightmare, it instilled in me a strong need for control and freedom.
3. Navigating Independence and Higher Education
After attending college for over two years, I became disheartened with the educational system even though I knew one day I would become a psychologist. Multiple choice tests were boring and seemed meaningless. I dropped out of college and faced the disappointment of my family.
At age 20.5, I became an independent adult. I shared an apartment with a friend and worked a full-time job as a pharmacy assistant. I learned so much during that gap year and loved every second of my freedom. I know it seems crazy because I was doing well in college and was involved in many extracurricular activities, but dropping out of college was the best thing I ever did.
After I returned to college at 21.5, I paid for college myself. I double majored in psychology and English literature. English literature classes provided me with the opportunity to write about social, psychological, anthropological, philosophical, and historical topics, which is what I needed.
While accepted into Columbia University’s graduate program in social-organizational psychology, I chose instead to attend an independent graduate school in San Diego that allowed me to pursue a dual PhD degree and my groundbreaking research that did not yet exist: the study of workplace discrimination against employees with family caregiving responsibilities. I presented my doctoral dissertation at 17 national and international conferences and published it in a peer-reviewed academic journal. It has been cited hundreds of times in academic journals, and several universities including the University of London replicated my study.
This unconventional path and groundbreaking research is a major reason I am recognized on Wikipedia as a notable psychologist today!
4. Professional Evolution and Current Life
After completing my dual PhD in 2003 and obtaining a California state license as a clinical psychologist in 2004, I worked in the corporate sector at Wells Fargo headquarters in San Francisco as a management consultant. Growing disappointed by corporate culture, I made a sharp pivot to work as an external consultant and psychological evaluator in the California State Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation for five years. I worked alongside murderers and complex cases. One of my friends suggested this job, and it was an eye-opening experience for me and one of the reasons I am so skillful as a psychologist today.
In 2011, I launched my private practice, followed by welcoming my child in 2012. My relationship history is mostly free from drama and I’ve had two serious relationships in my life. Although I struggled with anxiety in my early 20’s, I developed a toolkit in graduate school to overcome anxiety. My high need for control prevented me from ever using alcohol / drugs, and since early childhood I’ve been a strict vegetarian.
In 2024, I left my sanctuary in the redwood forest of Marin county to move to the vibrant, yet complex downtown of San Francisco. Further challenging myself with new experiences, and continuing my commitment to personal growth, clean living, and deep connection.
Contact Me
No matter what you are going through in your life, you can become the designer of your life. If you would like to make an appointment with me, please feel free to reach out through my contact page.