6 Steps to Staying Sane in the Conflict Zone

Developing a good strategy for managing conflict is critical to our wellbeing. It is inevitable that we will face challenging situations, circumstances and people in life. Staying sane in the conflict zone are skills we can learn. No one grows up knowing how to manage conflict in every situation. Sometimes we are faced with conflicts…

8 Ways to Manage Electronic Distractions

Most people have difficulty managing electronic distractions. Even as a psychologist I sometimes struggle. For example, I will check my email and texts repeatedly throughout the day or watch a video for 2 hours when I planned to watch it 30 minutes. When we notice that we cannot stop looking at our phone, tablet, watch,…

How to Make a Shame Siren

All of us have been toxically shamed at some point in our lives and some of us toxically shame ourselves with a critical inner voice. We might call ourselves, “lazy,” “worthless,” “no good,” “stupid,” “defective,” or “broken.” Toxic shame is a feeling that “I am not good enough” or “I am worthless.” Dwelling in a…

7 Ways to Overcome Perfectionism

If there was one trait that perpetuated anxiety more than any other, it would be perfectionism. Perfectionism is learned when one is valued only for doing, and parental acceptance and love are based on performance. The performance is always related to what is outside of the self. The child is taught to strive onward. There…

How to Take Hold of the Mind

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly—you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you.” -Eckhart Tolle First, we must calm our body before attempting to take hold of…

SufferWell Tonic

I was extremely skeptical about how raw, unfiltered apple cider vinegar and raw honey would ever help me relax or sleep in a time of suffering. But I have to say, I was shocked and amazed! Sometimes we turn to substances like alcohol, marijuana, tranquilizers and sleep aids to help us cope with suffering but this can…

Mistakes as Teachers

There is no way you can learn any task or skill without errors. For example, watch children learning to walk. They literally learn to walk by falling down. Each time they fall they adjust their balance and try again. Each failure creates opportunities to learn. Finally, they learn to walk.  Mistakes are a form of…

Encouraging Words

Read from my private journal and learn what I say to myself during times of upheaval or difficulty.

Happiness Sutras

On September 9, 2020, I woke to a blood orange sky. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. Horror movies could not do it justice. I was totally surrounded by an alien, menacing sky and there was nothing I could do about it.   At first I was not sure if the sky…

From the Dungeon to the Palace

I’ve always been a very curious person with many different interests. As an undergraduate, I double majored in psychology and English literature. As a doctoral student, I completed the coursework and internships in two different programs: (1) clinical psychology, the assessment and treatment of mental illness, and (2) industrial-organizational psychology, the scientific study of human…