9 Ways to Accept Reality

In a previous post, I wrote about the practice of radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is accepting life on life’s terms. It is derived from deep spiritual wisdom that goes back thousands of years. The practice of radical acceptance has helped people thrive during periods of upheaval or change, and has helped decrease symptoms of anxiety,…

The Practice of Radical Acceptance

Acceptance is the only way out of suffering. For thousands of years, religious and spiritual traditions have advocated acceptance and surrender as a way to manage the challenges and stressors of life. This deep spiritual wisdom has helped people survive and thrive during periods of turmoil and upheaval. As a psychologist, it would be foolish…

Eating Mindfully: The Cookie Meditation

Eating mindfully is a most important practice of meditation. – Thich Nhat Hanh Today, I thought it would be nice to write a post about mindful eating. Those of us who are familiar with mindful eating have heard about the cookie meditation. However, most people are unfamiliar with the origins of this mediation. It was…

One Mindfully @ Work

If you asked me which stress management tool I recommend to clients in fast paced, high stress jobs, I’d have to say, “One Mindfully in the Moment.” Even though most of us have never heard of one mindfully in the moment, it’s the best stress management tool I’ve ever encountered. The first time I heard…

The Perils of Perfectionism

When I was young, I was proud of the fact that I was a perfectionist. People rewarded me for doing things “perfectly.”  It seemed the more perfect, the better. I remember in graduate school that my friends and I regularly joked about being perfectionists. Perfectionism as a concept is not problematic. The idea of striving…

Communication Strategies for Conflict Avoidant People

Sometimes very successful, intelligent people have difficulty navigating conflict at home and at work. As children they learned that staying quiet and not expressing what they needed was more effective than arguing or speaking out. Staying quiet and avoiding conflict developed into the personality trait known as agreeableness, which was rewarded by parents and teachers….

Guidelines for Relationship Conflict

It’s unrealistic to think that we can be avoid conflict in our relationships. Relationship conflict is a natural and normal aspect of any connection. So much so that if a client tells me they never argue with their loved ones, I immediately think something is wrong. Preparing for conflict in our relationships is key to…

The Power of Validation

Validating ourselves and others is critical to creating and sustaining both a healthy self concept and healthy relationship with others. Many people struggle with self-validation and/or validating the people in their lives. The reason for this is fairly straight forward. As children their parents or caregivers did not effectively validate them, and as a result…

Neuro-Psychological Benefits of Juggling

When I was 21 years old I was totally obsessed with learning to juggle. One morning I woke up and thought I must learn to juggle!  Neuroscience research on juggling had not yet been conducted so there was no reason for this sudden obsession. Learning to juggle took a lot of time. I worked at…

Die to the Self: A Mindfulness Meditation

Practicing a meditation to ‘die to the self’ during a pandemic may not be your first priority but it’s the only way out of anxiety and fear. The anxiety and fear that arises during a pandemic includes illness or death of yourself or your loved ones, loss of work, home, possessions, and short term and…